Live Dead Day #1

Here it is. Live Dead challenge Day #1. The best part is that this day is not over yet! Feeling confident in Christ and continuing to seek His will for my life in whatever capacity that may be! I have been in prayer all day over my life as well as other's lives. I have no idea what I should be expecting from God but, whatever it is, He is forever good!

Words from my Author

God spoke these words to me last night (January 28, 2012) in a moment of weakness:
(who would have thought that God is a poet!)

There will be a day
just you wait and see
that what I AM putting you through
is where you need to be
perhaps your heart is hurting
and you just want to shout
but trust in ME little one
I AM your only way out
tears are falling down your face
and anger fills your heart
but remember MY dear child
I saved you with MY grace
this life you live is not your own
I gave it for MY service
but how you choose to use it
well
I have a greater purpose
trust in ME with all you have
because I know what's best
put your faith in ME dear one
because I'VE paid the rest

Exhausted, Yet Lifted Up

This week has been one of the more hectic weeks I have had in a very long time. Plans changed rapidly, it was Screamin' Eagles Week, I had not one, two, or three guests stay with me...but four! I went to the emergency room on Monday night, got back at 3:30 a.m. and took an exam in my 8:00 a.m. class the next day (passed with a 94%, Praise God!). I fell asleep on the floor during my dinner break at work, got all of my assignments completed and turned in on time, interpretive danced to Fireflies with all of my sisters, remembered why I fell in love with God and how much He has done for me, remembered one of the reasons why I fell in love with Noah and grabbed my heart back before it became re-entangled. Needless to say, this week has been exhausting. Yet, I have never experienced the grace of God to such fullness as I did this week!

Taking time with God was absolutely necessary this week. Which I did. Someone said to me this week: "We have to face pain without fear." This has meant so much to me just thinking about how different my life would be if I didn't have Christ to lean on and depend on for my strength; knowing that He is the only reason why I don't need to live in fear of what COULD be! This Monday is the beginning of the Live Dead challenge. I am looking forward to what God has in mind for me to experience in His infinite grace.

Noah and I are going to coffee today. As it has become in my mind, going to coffee means that you are trying to get to know someone better. So, it will be interesting to see what comes about after today. I am hoping that my heart will stay content with being blissfully at peace with what God is doing! God is so good and after a couple minor breakdowns this week (just struggling with trusting His will over mine) I am confident in who I am in Christ and I am confident in what He is doing in me!

"Do not let your hearts be troubles. Trust in God, trust also in me." John 14:1

The following is a note that one of the girls who stayed with me this week wrote to me:
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4 -for Elisabeth Culton
This is not only a blessing but a promise for when you mourn He promises there will be comfort. Trust that He is the ultimate comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) and his desire for you is not that your mourning will go unnoticed but trust/know that you will find comfort."

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comfort us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Snow Days

After one week of an overabundance of snow, I have learned so much about myself. This week has been full of falls, laughs, late nights, friends, and trust. Not only has this week been an entire week of snow days, but this has been a "Noah fast" week. But, I will get to that later. The whole week has been somewhat of a blur. As Rylie and I sat and reminisced this afternoon, it was difficult to recall everything that we have done. Although, one thing I know for sure, we did make a new friend: Marcelin. An interesting fellow.Our friendship was rather unexpected but he has provided Reb, Rylie and I with entertainment so I am not complaining. This week has been beautiful. I don't remember ever seeing snow like this. Thank God is was here with my friends!

Now about this "Noah fast." After Rylie and Reba's intervention, I realized that there was a much needed break from Noah that wasn't taking place. Thus, the fast. Now, it hasn't exactly been fun. It's been very difficult, but I have had the ability to get my priorities straight. Also, I have been able to relate to people in ways that I most likely would not have been able to otherwise. Seeing Noah doesn't hurt as much anymore. I can now look at him and know that this is the right thing that needs to happen. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for Rylie and Reba. They have been so faithful to pull me out of my slump.

God has been so good to me this week. Well, not just this week. He has been good to me always. But, sometimes we have to get to the lowest points in order to be built up by the only One who is able to build us up to our fullest capacity. It saddens me to know that it took me getting to this place to realize how truly faithful God has been. Sharing my testimony in chapel certainly helped with that realization.

This week has most definitely been an unexpected adventure. And here are the end results and realizations:
- I am now an avid fan of How I Met Your Mother
- Rylie and Reba are undoubtedly two of the best friends I have ever had
- Part of my hair is red
- I have found where my priorities need to lie and I will continue to put them there
- Sometimes we need silence to yell at us and show us the right path
- Not talking to someone after talking every day for a year and a half is very difficult
- I have an unexpected friend with whom I am blessed
- God is more faithful to me than I have ever realized

"I'm too blessed to be stressed, and too annointed to be disappointed."

Another Season

I miss holding hands with the person I thought was going to hold my hand forever.
I miss looking into his eyes and knowing that I was safe.
I miss walking and talking and just entrusting everything to him.

Despite all of these things that I miss so terribly,
I know that God has such a wonderful plan.

Taking a step back and looking at our relationship,
I have been able to see that things weren't nearly as perfect as I thought they were.

Hearts have been hurt and lives have been altered.
But, I know that if we are truly called together,
Then we will be together.

No more crying over what was.
No more wishing I had a best friend at that level.

Now, all that I can do is trust.
Trust him.
Trust myself.
But most importantly,
Trust God.

He is bigger than the pain that I feel.
He is bigger than the hurt that aches.

God knows exactly how this is going to turn out.

Habbukuk 3:17-19:
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will REJOICE in the LORD, I will be JOYFUL in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my STRENGTH; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He ENABLES me to go on the heights."

AMEN!

Here's to many more. 

Many more pictures.

Many more hands held.

Many more tears cried.

Many more laughs.

Many more memories. 

Here's to God bringing us together.

And here's to God keeping us together.