Blessed Assurance

In nursing school, they preach the whole idea of "prevention." Rather than cure someone, just help them to not acquire any diseases. Well, as made evident by society, disease is inevitable. And, until today, I was just another non-compliant human.

Despite multiple suggestions from my sister to go to the ophthalmologist, I have not gone. Until today.

He was kind enough to numb my eyeballs, expose them to the world via dilation, shine an extremely bright light in them, and then proceed to tell me that my optic nerves are "pink and happy." This all sounds so pleasant. Then, came the verdict I was hoping he was going to rule out for me.

"Because of the fact that you are 20, a woman, and presenting with all of these symptoms, I can't rule out MS. You can have MS without optic neuritis - which you don't have. So, I can't say for sure. You need to see a neurologist who will do some tests, and if those come up inconclusive, then you can go in a big machine that will take pictures of your brain. So, it's either too much stress and your body is revolting, or MS."

Well...this all seems so sudden. Perhaps I fell over once. And yes, my eyes are blurry. And I will even admit to my hands feeling like they are on fire. I will even admit to a headache everyday. But MS? No.

I am doing my best to not dwell on the "what-ifs" of this situation. I simply say that the doctor is trying to "rule out MS." Because, as far as I am concerned, these strange things are not MS. I just have a rebellious body. 

Prayer. That's all I've got to keep me calm. 

Blessed Assurance

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
This is my story, this is my song,
  Praising my Savior all the day long.