Divine Romance

Leviticus 17:11 (NIV)
"For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes the atonement for one's life."

Mark 3:28 (NIV)
"I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them."

Jesus Christ was my atoning blood. No matter what we do, as long as we confess with out mouth and believe in our hearts that he is the Son of God, all of our sins and blasphemies will be forgiven. It seems that in a world so dark and dreary that more people should be witnessing and living a life dedicated fully to Christ. I for one, do not pick up my cross daily. I pick up my baggage. I pick up the weight of a thousand things to do. I pick up my insecurities. I pick up the stress of having Nursing as a major. I pick up my past sins. I pick up the weight of other's problems - knowing full well that I cannot fix them on my own - yet here I stand with their baggage in hand. Matthew 28: 19 says: "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (NIV). What does this mean? It means that I need to be active. I need to live out my faith. I need to let go of all of the things that I am currently holding and just give them to God. I need to know and believe that even thought I can barely keep my head up, God is gently holding me and I don't have to try to keep my head up, I just have to look up and there it will stay.

Jesus Christ came to this earth and died for me. He died for you. He died for everyone. Anything and everything that I have ever done, thought, or acted on, has been forgiven. I am washed new daily and, what is even better than that, is His mercies are new EVERYDAY! That is a promise that I should never forget. God loves me and cherishes me more than I could ever asked to be loved by another human being. We all fall short, but the beautiful thing is that no matter how short, God is always there to catch us, pick us up, and in that still, small voice say: "I am here. I am holding you. And I love you."

Phil Wickham's song Divine Romance:

The fullness of Your grace is here with me 
The richness of Your beauty's all I see 
The brightness of Your glory has arrived 
In Your presence God, I'm completely satisfied 
For You I sing I dance 
Rejoice in this divine romance 
Lift my heart and my hands 
To show my love, to show my love 
A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You 
Of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room 
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life

Noah

I have been told so many times that love is a choice. Now, I am living that out. Everyday I make a conscience decision to love Noah Daniel Irish. It is a choice that I happily make! He loves the Lord, he encourages my faith, he trusts me, and I know that I can trust him. He has a great family, he likes to talk to me (and to listen to me), he has a great laugh. He always sneezes at least five times-usually eight. He has the uncanny ability to grow a wicked beard in a short amount of time. He is willing to do Bible studies with me, he encourages me to do my own devotions, he loves others, he as a man worth looking up to. He gives me reasons to respect him every day. He is encouraging and most of the time positive. He wants the best out of this relationship.

The other day, we had the opportunity to speak with his pastor and his wife. They asked us if we truly felt called together. We both confirmed that we do. It is a strange thing to know that the man that I choose to love now, is the man that I choose to love for the rest of my life. We are not engaged nor do we plan to be anytime soon. But, as long as God keeps the doors of our hearts open to love and open to His will, we will continue on this path toward marriage. I'm excited, scared, impatient, faithful, and most of all, I find new reasons to love Noah everyday. And, as we grow in this relationship, I will continue to fall in love with my best friend. Because, that is what love is, a choice, an opportunity to love someone for the rest of your life. Your best friend, your biggest fan, and your partner in life.

Love is a choice. Love is a decision. Love is great. God's plans are best.

Realizations

I have been extremely convicted of my constant need to put others down using my sarcasm lately. I don't mean to do it. But, I have learned that words are more hurtful than actions sometimes and they pierce the heart like a needle. In addition, my pride has been rearing its ugly head. Recently, I have been placing myself in a physically lower position than those that I am talking with. It helps me to see that I am no better than them and that I do not deserve to be seen in a higher light.

So much is going on at home, yet here I am in Washington. I just wish that I could be there for my mom and that I could watch Brodie as he adjusts to life with a label. I know that they don't NEED me there. But, I WANT to be there. My family means the world to me and I just have to continue to be on my knees for them instead of just worrying myself to death; that won't help a thing!

People often ask me when Noah and I are getting married: I AM ONLY 18! Not only that, but neither of us are ready to be married. We both have a lot of growing up to do before we make that kind of a commitment. I do love him though. More than I thought was possible at this stage in my life. He means so much to me and I am getting to the place where I can't even picture my life without him.

There are three weeks left in this season of my life: first year college student. It is so crazy how quickly this year has gone by. It kind of blows my mind that I am almost a 20-something and that I am no longer going to be considered a "freshman."

Thus far, I have realized a lot about myself and the people around me and how I relate to them. I have also fallen in love with the man that I never thought I would find. Also, I am continuing to fall in love with a God that I willingly serve and worship daily.

Life: it fascinates me.