Surrender = Glorifying

Words that came to me during church this past Sunday, the 11th of March:

The call to live a life glorifying to God cannot be lived out selectively. The call to glorify Him should be enacted in all areas; and the parts that I don't feel ready to surrender yet, are the parts of my life that need to be surrendered first. I can try to fix them, but until I live a life glorifying Him in ALL aspects, those areas will continue to fall apart. Surrender is a way of glorifying; get there.

February 4th

Today, my beautiful family came to see me. After driving a little over 200 miles, I had a wonderful day! I miss seeing them and gleaning from my mom the wisdom that she has to offer.

Everyone Struggles

This sounds completely ridiculous, but something finally dawned on me today: people are CONSTANTLY going through trials. Not just my close friends, or even the people that I would just call acquaintances, everyone is constantly experiencing something that I have no idea about. God has been opening so many doors for me to speak with people about things that they are going through. I feel as though He has entrusted me to be with His flock, even though I am a part of that flock and I have to seek out counsel as well. Yet, somehow, He keeps confirming that I am a trustworthy person. But, without a doubt, I would not be this way if it wasn't for Him. This entry is not to brag it's just a note of what I have seen in my life. I couldn't believe how hard it hit me that people are constantly experiencing something! Why has that never occurred to me before? People all over the world are suffering, rejoicing, depressed, joyful, every emotion is currently being felt by someone on this big planet as I type! How mind-blowing is that! And what's more is that I am only affected by the few people that I know! So, this means that there are so many more opportunities out there that I am unaware of! My prayer is that God would give me His eyes to see those that need someone. Whether it is just a small affirmation of how much they mean to me, or how much they are cherished, we are a people that need to be built up and God has gifted us with that ability. Whether it is a gift or not, saying something small to someone could change their whole outlook. For me, how much more could I be showing the love of God to people that I am not even aware of! Like the Live Dead challenge, I am simply praying. Praying that opportunities would arise, that God would change someone's heart, that I would be deemed worthy of being used. I believe that God gave us voices to use for His glory and His purpose and if we choose to use our words to tear people down, judge (which I will admit I am guilty of), belittle, or anything that brings harm to someone, we are not using our God-given abilities for the glory of the One who gave them to us! How we react to hurt or anger or sadness is our decision, but how we show our love to others....well, the Bible says that we were made in the image of God and that He knit us together in our mother's womb (Psalm 139:13) and what better way to show the love of God, than to love on someone the way Jesus did for us. Offering every piece of ourselves to His service is hard, but it is more than worth it.

Live Dead Day #1

Here it is. Live Dead challenge Day #1. The best part is that this day is not over yet! Feeling confident in Christ and continuing to seek His will for my life in whatever capacity that may be! I have been in prayer all day over my life as well as other's lives. I have no idea what I should be expecting from God but, whatever it is, He is forever good!

Words from my Author

God spoke these words to me last night (January 28, 2012) in a moment of weakness:
(who would have thought that God is a poet!)

There will be a day
just you wait and see
that what I AM putting you through
is where you need to be
perhaps your heart is hurting
and you just want to shout
but trust in ME little one
I AM your only way out
tears are falling down your face
and anger fills your heart
but remember MY dear child
I saved you with MY grace
this life you live is not your own
I gave it for MY service
but how you choose to use it
well
I have a greater purpose
trust in ME with all you have
because I know what's best
put your faith in ME dear one
because I'VE paid the rest

Exhausted, Yet Lifted Up

This week has been one of the more hectic weeks I have had in a very long time. Plans changed rapidly, it was Screamin' Eagles Week, I had not one, two, or three guests stay with me...but four! I went to the emergency room on Monday night, got back at 3:30 a.m. and took an exam in my 8:00 a.m. class the next day (passed with a 94%, Praise God!). I fell asleep on the floor during my dinner break at work, got all of my assignments completed and turned in on time, interpretive danced to Fireflies with all of my sisters, remembered why I fell in love with God and how much He has done for me, remembered one of the reasons why I fell in love with Noah and grabbed my heart back before it became re-entangled. Needless to say, this week has been exhausting. Yet, I have never experienced the grace of God to such fullness as I did this week!

Taking time with God was absolutely necessary this week. Which I did. Someone said to me this week: "We have to face pain without fear." This has meant so much to me just thinking about how different my life would be if I didn't have Christ to lean on and depend on for my strength; knowing that He is the only reason why I don't need to live in fear of what COULD be! This Monday is the beginning of the Live Dead challenge. I am looking forward to what God has in mind for me to experience in His infinite grace.

Noah and I are going to coffee today. As it has become in my mind, going to coffee means that you are trying to get to know someone better. So, it will be interesting to see what comes about after today. I am hoping that my heart will stay content with being blissfully at peace with what God is doing! God is so good and after a couple minor breakdowns this week (just struggling with trusting His will over mine) I am confident in who I am in Christ and I am confident in what He is doing in me!

"Do not let your hearts be troubles. Trust in God, trust also in me." John 14:1

The following is a note that one of the girls who stayed with me this week wrote to me:
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4 -for Elisabeth Culton
This is not only a blessing but a promise for when you mourn He promises there will be comfort. Trust that He is the ultimate comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) and his desire for you is not that your mourning will go unnoticed but trust/know that you will find comfort."

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comfort us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Snow Days

After one week of an overabundance of snow, I have learned so much about myself. This week has been full of falls, laughs, late nights, friends, and trust. Not only has this week been an entire week of snow days, but this has been a "Noah fast" week. But, I will get to that later. The whole week has been somewhat of a blur. As Rylie and I sat and reminisced this afternoon, it was difficult to recall everything that we have done. Although, one thing I know for sure, we did make a new friend: Marcelin. An interesting fellow.Our friendship was rather unexpected but he has provided Reb, Rylie and I with entertainment so I am not complaining. This week has been beautiful. I don't remember ever seeing snow like this. Thank God is was here with my friends!

Now about this "Noah fast." After Rylie and Reba's intervention, I realized that there was a much needed break from Noah that wasn't taking place. Thus, the fast. Now, it hasn't exactly been fun. It's been very difficult, but I have had the ability to get my priorities straight. Also, I have been able to relate to people in ways that I most likely would not have been able to otherwise. Seeing Noah doesn't hurt as much anymore. I can now look at him and know that this is the right thing that needs to happen. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for Rylie and Reba. They have been so faithful to pull me out of my slump.

God has been so good to me this week. Well, not just this week. He has been good to me always. But, sometimes we have to get to the lowest points in order to be built up by the only One who is able to build us up to our fullest capacity. It saddens me to know that it took me getting to this place to realize how truly faithful God has been. Sharing my testimony in chapel certainly helped with that realization.

This week has most definitely been an unexpected adventure. And here are the end results and realizations:
- I am now an avid fan of How I Met Your Mother
- Rylie and Reba are undoubtedly two of the best friends I have ever had
- Part of my hair is red
- I have found where my priorities need to lie and I will continue to put them there
- Sometimes we need silence to yell at us and show us the right path
- Not talking to someone after talking every day for a year and a half is very difficult
- I have an unexpected friend with whom I am blessed
- God is more faithful to me than I have ever realized

"I'm too blessed to be stressed, and too annointed to be disappointed."